Table of Contents

Life on the Internet
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Validation
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I’ve had an on and off relationship with social media. I deactivated my Facebook account in 2017, mostly because it became “uncool” and my generation was moving on to Instagram.

I’ve always had this creeping feeling that somehow we’re being manipulated by these platforms; that they’re messing with our individuality.

If you are ever tempted to look for outside approval, realize that you have compromised your integrity. If you need a witness, be your own. - Epictetus

Around 2015-16, everybody I knew was going on these “shoots”, to take pictures for their FB and IG feeds. Going out did not feel like something people did for fun, they had a clear agenda of taking “Instagrammable” pictures, fake candid(“plandids”). You went home and start editing those pictures, I’ve known guys who’d face tune their facial features to look more “Instaworthy” and search for captions on Google and slap it on whether it was relevant to the picture or not as long as it sounded “cool”.

All of this to project some kind of personality/image. Some uniqueness among the hundred others who were doing literally the same thing. In the search for uniqueness, they lost their individuality.

And as soon as you press “Upload”, you stare at those notifications, keep dragging it down to refresh to check if you’ve received any likes/comments. Like some mindless robot driven by cheap dopamine hits from validation.

Constantly being “ranked” by your peers, wouldn’t everyone want to win at these “games of validation” ? Even if your life is in fact splendid, you’d not feel good enough unless others say so.

What the hell are Snapchat streaks, and why do people do it?

I never got around to using Snapchat, I did make an account on it once, but it just seemed weird how people were living for the “snaps”, no matter how mundane and insignificant a moment, you’ve got to snap it - wait, first, you’ve to choose the “right” filter for it. Who likes to post something as they SEE AND EXPERIENCE it when you can distort and change it with filters…you’re an artist after all, a photographer who really cares about color grading their pictures, you need them to look good on your prints that you’re going to sell to people passionate about art…oh wait it only lasts for 24 hours.

And when Instagram shamelessly stole Snapchat’s “feature”, Instagram stories is where it was at. With even more filters to filter your sad life through. Who cares about acceptance of oneself and how they look when they can gaslight themselves with filters, I remember dudes who used the flower tiara filter.

Everything these days is “content” - the word feels so disgusting to me. The fake models of the social media did not just happen. It was cultivated by manipulative “features”. The likes, the views, the following/followers ratio. The validation.

Humans want to feel validated, they want to belong.

All of this to say that - this shit caused a lot of anxiety for my already struggling, insecure self. I am guilty of doing some of these cringy trends, but when I finally realized how I was being manipulated and how I am just better off not using any of these apps, I stopped. Receiving likes from people doesn’t actually mean people like you, they’re simply giving you validation as a favor which you’ll return by liking one of their pictures. I deleted my accounts, and I’ve never been more confident with myself. From fooling oneself to actually putting in time and effort in reconciling with your issues and practicing self-love.

Consoomers
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The biggest threat to your focus is cheap dopamine.

People find it hard to spend time with themselves, they need their “Cocaine Pellet Dispenser” to keep them constantly entertained. I’ve known guys who don’t eat their lunches without first putting on something on YouTube, or they’ve food in their right hand and their device in their left hand to scroll IG Reels.

We all have been guilty of religiously checking our phones the first thing after we wake up. Is this what we want our morning rituals to look like? Is it really going to promote a productive/healthy lifestyle?

Our attention spans have dropped significantly, I can’t read a book for 30 mins straight without wanting to go for my phone for a quick peek. For that quick dopamine hit.

Our lives are occupied by these devices that cause us so much distraction — I have turned off notifications for most of the apps I use. I cannot afford to lose any attention over the brand-new deal you’ve Amazon or Myntra.

Do you ever feel this urge to go for your phone as soon as it vibrates or rings (I usually keep my phone on vibrate mode), ~~it’s like~~ it’s exactly like some Pavlovian response, we’ve been thoroughly conditioned by our smartphones, almost as if we’ve no free will left? Are we just some mindless monkeys?

Doom scrolling

Controlled by algorithms that dictate what we consume next. Social media offers bite-sized content that is easily digestible, simply scroll away if you’re not amused enough by a post. There’s only an infinite amount of scrolling to be done.

Why would anyone want to waste their time like this instead of doing something productive like reading books, articles or actually going out to “socialize”.

Even when you go out to catch up socially with your friends, it isn’t a rare sight that your mates act like scroll zombies. Wasn’t socializing supposed to be fun? How can we allow getting bored with each other so much that we’d rather watch a glass brick.

Louise : So what happened, were you bored in Manchester?
Johnny : Was I bored? No, I wasn’t fuckin’ bored. I’m never bored. That’s the trouble with everybody - you’re all so bored. You’ve had nature explained to you and you’re bored with it, you’ve had the living body explained to you and you’re bored with it, you’ve had the universe explained to you and you’re bored with it. So now you want cheap thrills and like plenty of them, and it don’t matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it’s new, as long as it’s new, as long as it flashes and fuckin’ bleeps in forty fuckin’ different colors. So whatever else you can say about me, I’m not fuckin’ bored. — Naked (1993) - David Thewlis as Johnny

I firmly believe in Unix philosophy on software:

Make each program do one thing well. To do a new job, build afresh rather than complicate old programs by adding new “features”. — via Unix philosophy - Wikipedia

Every software wants to be like every other software. Twitter is soon going to have “blogging” functionality for long-form content(there’s that dumb word again). Whatever happened to Twitter Fleets?

Subsequently, WhatsApp also introduced WhatsApp status…like they hadn’t already hooked their users on Facebook and Instagram. People now have to regularly update/check their WhatsApp statuses. All of these apps rely on the model of “making users spend as much time on the app as possible”. I don’t know if this isn’t a threat to our attention, then what is?

Unrealistic Expectations
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Social media is creating misguided expectations among people in all aspects of life. The perfect vacation, the perfect wedding, the perfect skin, the perfect body, the perfect partner. It’s all about #goals.

We watch as other people live our goals. What do you think it’s doing to our psyche? Is it not contributing to anxiety and FOMO(fear of missing out)? While it is doing nothing for you to bring closer to your #goals. Why do anything about my mediocre life when I can watch the most significant moment of other’s lives in a desperate attempt into escapism?

I am not asking you to be content with whatever you’ve, that is your problem and you’ll figure it out but at least take out the leech that’s sucking off your happiness. From FOMO to JOMO (joy of missing out).

You’re not doing anything to free those who are more trapped. You’re only enslaving them more by entrenching the system.

Practice stoicism. Be Zen. You can’t do it if you’re constantly being reminded of how fun and exciting everyone else’s life is.

Simping

I’ve a problem with men who follow women on IG for their “personality”. We all know they do it for their “assets” …why do these men fall so low? I get it, sometimes you need to appreciate the beauty, but I know guys whose feeds exclusively contain pictures/reels of half naked women. Don’t even get me started on these “simps” who say they follow them for their “content”, I am not saying women are unfunny, but most of these women are trying to capitalize on their looks.

This type of soft-core porn is just as potent as the regular porn. From actual masturbation to mental masturbation about being with these women. It is unhealthy for you to continue doing this, as it creates a twisted sense of expectations from your (potential) partners.

The standards of beauty, love, sex and lifestyle that social media/internet portrays is undeniably detached from reality.

Note: I am not using the term “simp” in a toxic masculinity way. Women should be respected regardless of their looks.

Ads & Free Will
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If something is free, you’re the product. — variously attributed¹

YouTube now shows at least 2 ads before playing a video. IG shows 1 ad after every 2 stories(?). It’s weird how people tolerate being made to watch ads. You can’t use third party clients:

These companies claim that they don’t allow third-party apps because of privacy risks, but it’s usually bullshit because third-party apps come with adblockers and these companies lose money over them.

You do one Google search about anything and ads for those products are shoved at you from all directions because all of them sell your data for the most targeted advertising possible.

The ads might be useful for the discovery of the product, but most of the time, they’re modifying your behavior. Almost to the extent that they’re taking away your free will to make decisions on your own. The more ads you watch, the more money you’re likely to spend.

Impulse buying

Influencers and graphic designers make flashy ads, peddling the hell out of a thing and before you know it, they’ve influenced you into buying it. Go ahead, order that thing that you think will help you fill the void in your life, after all, an influencer vouched that it was “life-changing”.

When you watch fewer ads, you’re not exposed to the million products out there and spend less money. When you actually need something in your life, you’ll go out looking for it, or somebody you personally know will introduce you to it. You don’t really need social media for the discovery of these products.

Echo chambers

You’re only fed the kind of content that you resonate with, you hardly get to listen to the argument from by people on the other side of the fence. Furthermore, you live in a bubble that keeps fortifying whatever you believe in. This is called confirmation bias, filtering information through our preexisting beliefs and opinions.

Social media is so tailored, your feed will hardly ever have an opposing/differing viewpoint. We don’t need algorithm governed feeds, we need dumb (mostly unfiltered) feeds to have a better, more nuanced, grounded in truth (not half-truths) understanding of the differing voices in these highly political times.

Take Back Control
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Now, I understand that you cannot completely go off the grid. Social media & internet has become part and parcel of our lives.

Here are something I do to reduce distractions, eliminate ads.

When you know better, you’ve an obligation towards yourself to do better.

For Browser

I use Brave Browser, it has an inbuilt adblocker that does a very good job across many websites. uBlock Origin is another good option for browser-wide adblocking.

Use Onetab to reduce tab clutter.

If you’re looking for network-wide adblocking, I’ll recommend Pi-hole.

For YouTube, I use SponsorBlock and Unhook to hide UI elements that I find distracting.

For LinkedIn, I use LinkOff that “Cleans the LinkedIn feed based on keywords and filters”. I keep LinkedIn feed completely hidden, as it’s just the most soul-eating platform on the planet. Sadly, I do have to use it for discovering career opportunities.

For Twitter, I use minimal-twitter which is an extension to block certain UI elements of the Twitter website. Also checkout nitter.it

I use Unclutter when reading articles on the web, it declutters the UI of a web page for better readability. Bonus: Jiffy Reader adds Bionic Reading to articles for speed reading for free!

For Android

minimalist phone is a launcher that reduces distractions with a minimal layout and app drawer.

For YouTube checkout, NewPipe - a free YouTube client. And ReVanced which is a revival project of Vanced YouTube.

I also use Gray-Switch that turns the entire screen grayscale, making it less appealing to reach for. Another amazing option is DetoxDroid.

Resources
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This blog post was supposed to be about why I don’t use social media, but it seems like I’ve successfully managed to made it into a rant about the internet, software and people.

Thanks for reading!

In conclusion, this saying evolved over time. Richard Serra and Carlota Fay Schoolman crafted an interesting precursor in 1973. A strong match was written by Tom Johnson in 2001. An extended statement was written by Andrew Lewis in 2010. ↩︎

Life on the Internet#

Validation#

Consoomers#

Unrealistic Expectations#

Ads & Free Will#

Take Back Control#

Resources#